Quote of the "month"
November 2005
"Because in my mind, God is a Canadian" - Kevin Smith, Nov 27, 2001, on casting Alanis Morissette as God in Dogma
May 2004
"Nobody ever says anything interesting in front of me anymore." -Me, 20 May 2004.
May 2003
"Why are there rocks in the garbage disposal?" -Me, 8 May 2003.
January 2002
"If he wants to shag blokes in Clapham Common that's his business, as long as he does his job." -Doug Shearer, 28 October 98 (in reference to Ron Davies, former Minister for Welsh Affairs, who resigned after being robbed by a stranger to whom he gave a ride).
June 2001
"Life is a series of performance art pieces...
Except you have to add in repetitive motion." -Jesse Earnest, August 8, 1998.
April/May 2001
"We're not going to bite the hand that feeds us, we're going to cut it off." -Jeff Gray
Feb/March 2001
"When trying to acquire a sense of sin, it helps a lot if you can manage to think of a specific sexual or dietary practice as forbidden, even though it does not seem to be doing anyone any harm." -The London Review of Books on religious education.
June 2000
"Fuck Private Ryan. Let's go to the Anarchist Bookfair." -sticker seen stuck to an ad poster on the wall of a London tube station Fall 1998.
June 1999
"This isn't music, it's noise pollution." -Elizabeth Williamson, 28 August 1998 (in response to hearing Damian Hirst's "Vindaloo" in an Oxford Street shoe store).
May 1999
"There's something you don't see every day... Llama shaving." -Jeff Gray, June 1998.
August 1998
"I don't need your lovely
I don't want your beauty
I pull back in my head
I load ugly in my head
This world is bloated - it's ugly
A sprawling ghetto - it's ugly"
- Henry Rollins, "Ugly (Planet Joe)", Rollins Band, 1989.
July 1998
"You look like you're on the verge of insanity." -Jamie Montgomery, November 25, 1997,
June 1998
"I called your place, but they said you didn't live there anymore." -Jeff Gray, May 30, 1998.
Some former EZBoard signature tags
12/02/00
I am way way cooler than you, so just shut up.
02/06/01
I'm gonna get me a rock of crack so fat
motherfucker gotta smoke it out a water main.
03/14/01
"Jazz isn't dead, it just smells funny." - Frank
Zappa
03/16/01
Your ad could be here. Email for details.
04/13/01
"You're insane. Archie is not fucking Mr. Wetherbee!"
- Banky, Chasing Amy
05/08/01
This calls for a very special blend of psychology
and extreme violence." - Vyvyan Bastard
05/17/01
It's the wild color scheme that freaks me, every time
you try to operate one of these weird black controls that are
labeled in black on a black background, a little black light
lights up black to let you know you've done it. What is this?
Some kind of galactic hyperhearse?" - Zaphod Beeblebrox, The
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
07/11/01
"...the Triganic Pu doesn't really count as money.
Its exchange rate of eight ningis to one pu is simple, but since
a ningi is a triangular rubber coin 6800 miles on each side, no
one has ever collected enough to own one pu." - The
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
09/14/01
"It's a place used the world over where people can
come together to bitch about movies and share pornography
together." - Holden McNeil, on the internet, Jay and Silent
Bob Strike Back
01/05/02
"Basically when you're on tour, you're either at the
gig, or you're asleep or you're shopping, and not necessarily
because you need to buy anything; just because you've got a few
hours to kill in a strange city and you walk around and there's
all kinds of bright shiny things in the store, and so you walk
around there, and you feel like a pirate, scraping things off and
stuffing them into your suitcase: treasure to take home." -
Stewart Copeland
01/23/02
"All their songs were two minutes long, and I asked
them the names of all their songs. They had maybe five or six at
the time: 'I Don't Wanna Go Down to the Basement,' 'I Don't Wanna
Walk Around With You,' 'I Don't Wanna Be Learned/I Don't Wanna Be
Tamed' and 'I Don't Wanna' something else. And Dee Dee said, 'We
didn't write a positive sing until "Now I Wanna Sniff Some
Glue."' They were just perfect, you know?" - Richard Hell, on
writing a piece on the Ramones for Hit Parader in 1975.
03/15/02
"It was punk, and I said, 'Oh My God! This is exactly what I've been wanting to do my entire life.' Play complicated, hard-edged, fast music that people can actually dance and pogo and freak out to, instead of this analytical hard rock stuff, which only goes out to the front of the stage and then stops, energy-wise." - Scott Thunes, on getting a gig doing a Fear demo following being sacked from Dweezil Zappa's band.
04/08/02
"Ugly Bob, your face looks like someone tried to put out a forest fire with a screwdriver." - Philip
07/01/02
"One of the major things that was stolen from the Sex Pistols was our sense of humour. People didn’t want to focus on the fact that we were young people basically out to have fun. They didn’t understand that’s what young people do; the world was - and is - a horrible place, but you’ll never change it by being miserable." - John Lydon a.k.a. Johnny Rotten
09/04/02
"A little pain never hurt anyone, if you know what I mean. Also, I think knives are a good idea. Big, f.u.c.koff, shiny ones. Let them know we're serious. Knives are quiet, so we're more likely to use them. Guns for show, knives for a pro." - Soap, Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels
09/17/02
"It seemed like a good idea at the time." - Fink Squad Motto
10/29/02
"I firmly believe in a ruling class. Mostly because I rule." - Randall, Clerks
1/19/03
"I'd rather go to a mom and pop hotel where the owner is sitting in the other room watching TV and he wants to get me checked in so he can go back and watch the football game. Not some fancy schmancy hotel where the person's being paid a low wage and they can't figure out the computer and it's going to take a half hour to check in. All I want is a MORE EFFICIENT AMERICA!" - Mojo Nixon
4/22/03
"Fuck Saddam. We're taking him out." - U.S. President George W. Bush, March 2002
05/04/03
"Anti-terrorism is going to be used to attack groups that are concerned about the environment, about civil rights, about the rights of gays and women. It's not going to be used to attack racist or fundamentalist religious groups that are murdering people outside of abortion clinics. It's a purely political term and it's being promulgated with a political agenda in mind - that is the rollback of Constitutional rights." - Jim Vander Wall, 2003 Guerrilla News Network interview